Set goals that stick
Plenty of advice on how to set goals, and this set sticks to what helps you follow through. Four rules for building habits sit next to Jay Shetty's claim that a habit can lock in within days. Marc Lou's Visualize Habit calculator shows what a daily habit adds up to. 10 picks from the Bez Tytułu newsletter, in reading order.
The picks
Visualize Habit: See What Small Habits Add Up To
Tool · visualizehabit.com · Issue #83
Visualize Habit is a free calculator by Marc Lou that shows what a daily habit adds up to over a year. For example, reading 15 minutes a day, seven days a week, is shown as about 18 books, or roughly 19 hours. The site argues that tiny habits produce big results, and the page claims 80% of New Year's resolutions fail.
Make habits obvious, easy, satisfying, then invert
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #134
Build a good habit by making it obvious, easy and satisfying, then invert all four to break a bad one.
The speaker lays out four rules for building a good habit: make it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. To break a bad habit, reverse each one: make it invisible, unattractive, difficult and unsatisfying. The speaker says that the more enjoyable a habit feels, the more likely it is to be repeated.
Key points- Make cues obvious and visible, and scale the habit down to ease starting
- Make a bad habit invisible, unattractive, difficult and unsatisfying
- Enjoyment makes you more likely to repeat a habit, the speaker says
New habits can lock in within six days
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #243
Jay Shetty says a new habit locks in within three to six days, if you stay fully present for the behavior, not 21 days.
Jay Shetty argues that a new habit can lock in within three to six days, not the 21 days often claimed, if you are fully present while doing the behavior. For a habit you want to stop, the same applies to avoiding it. He says this is based on his observations and the data he has seen.
Key points- Bring full attention to the behavior each time you do it
- Shetty says his observations of data support the three-to-six-day window
- Avoiding a behavior works the same way: consistent presence locks it in
Small milestones fuel motivation for the next step
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #134
Set a roadmap with small milestones, since reaching each one triggers reward signals that fuel motivation for the next.
The speaker says people fail at consistency because they fixate on the result and take big steps too early, like a road trip with no route and no fuel. The advice is to build a roadmap for where you are now, make starting easy, and set milestones. Reaching each milestone triggers the brain's reward system, which boosts motivation for the next one.
Key points- Fixating on the result tempts you into big unsustainable steps too early
- Milestones trigger the brain's reward system and boost motivation for the next stop
- Build a roadmap for where you are now, starting easy and taking bigger steps as you grow
Valued goals create meaning and emotion
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #13
Pursuing a valued goal creates positive emotion and meaning, and the higher the goal, the richer the experience.
The speaker says a valuable goal creates meaning and positive emotion, and the better the goal, the richer the experience of pursuing it. Pursuing it means facing frightening challenges, like becoming a better speaker, writer, or thinker, which stretch you. The speaker links this pattern to the myth of rescuing a father from the belly of a whale, as in Pinocchio.
Key points- Choosing a goal means sacrificing other options, which creates a hierarchy of values
- Moving toward the goal brings positive emotion and meaning along the way
- Stretching goals bring frightening challenges, like learning to speak or write better
Your real goal is the feeling you want
Short · tiktok.com · Issue #183
Your real goal is the feeling you want, and the timeline is how long you are willing to wait for it.
The speaker asks viewers to write down their biggest goal, how they will feel once they reach it, and the date by which they plan to get there. He argues that the feeling is the real goal, and the timeline is how long you are willing to wait for it. He says the framing is not his own invention but finds it useful for thinking about goals differently.
Key points- Write your biggest goal, how you will feel achieving it, and a date
- The feeling you wrote down is the actual goal
- The timeline is the amount of waiting you accept
Use Strategic Thinking to Create the Life You Want
Read · hbr.org · Issue #141
BCG's Rainer Strack, Susanne Dyrchs and Allison Bailey argue that corporate strategy methods can help individuals plan their lives. The approach starts by defining what makes a great life, reviews how time and energy are spent, and sets objectives and key results for areas that need change. The Strategize Your Life program has been tested with over 500 people and produces a one-page life strategy in a few hours.
Personal Experiments
Read · nesslabs.com · 11 min · Issue #185
Anne-Laure Le Cunff of Ness Labs argues that life changes work better as personal experiments than as rigid goals. Her four steps are to keep short field notes, find patterns and turn them into a research question, test a hypothesis over a set number of trials, and review the result without judgment. She claims this builds adaptability, curiosity and better decisions.
How to Reinvent Yourself in 2022
Watch · youtube.com · Issue #185
Nathaniel Drew's video on reinventing yourself at the start of a new year, aimed at people who feel worn out. It tackles self-doubt, fear and exhaustion, and proposes naming fears instead of setting goals, drawing on Carl Jung's shadow work to break self-sabotage. He recommends relaxed decision-making, gradual growth and learning from mistakes.
Energy is the language of your soul
Short · tiktok.com · 1 min · Issue #238
Graham Weaver argues energy is the language of your soul, and that what energizes you points to what you should do.
Graham Weaver, in a 2024 Stanford GSB Last Lecture, argues that energy is the language of the soul and that excitement shows what your soul is saying. He describes a 'Nine Lives' exercise, imagining nine parallel lives, which reveals what you have energy for. Unlike willpower or fossil fuels, he says energy is not exhaustible: it grows the more you tap into it and give it away.
Key points- Your soul speaks through the body, showing what you have energy for
- The Nine Lives exercise reveals what truly energizes you
- Energy is abundant, like love: the more you tap it, the more you have